Dec15th, 2018,
Leave Yourself Alone
A common prompt we were given by our trainers during our Alexander Training was, “Leave yourself alone.” “Really? Wasn’t I there to learn and be attentive?” “What was to be gained?” I thought. This all took a millisecond to wonder and probably a little longer to figure out. Ah! Those questions,…they all suspect if you are not “enacting”or “thinking” and let’s face it, concluding something, then, well…what?
Exactly! What. What is not always a question. What is what. That which we are faced with at any given moment to assess. “Present manifestation”. What is, is what is! So though we were fully engaged in the action of observing ourselves not doing/reacting, “leave yourself alone” was a beautifully timed salve to the inevitable worrying thoughts that accompany that level of openness. It seemed for me to clear the deck enough to be in acceptance of that which needed change/attention. The intensity of your concern doesn’t determine the clarity in which you see the “what”.
The quality you bring to the thing you want to address does make a difference. Your willingness to connect to the invisible what, what could be, and be easy about how you got there, seemed to be the difference between new skills, and thoughtless drills.
Try it. Do something you don’t normally/can’t. But in your attempt, observe and look out for yourself like a caring parent is of a toddler. Bring that quality of heart. It’s no joke.